Understanding Resistance in Therapy: Why We Avoid Change

Last Updated 20 February 2025

a sad man standing outside alone at night.

In the therapeutic journey, resistance is a common phenomenon that can significantly impact the effectiveness of treatment. It often manifests as an unconscious defence mechanism that prevents clients from facing uncomfortable emotions or making necessary changes. At Mayfair Therapy, understanding and addressing this resistance is crucial for facilitating meaningful progress in therapy. This article delves into the nature of resistance, its various forms, and strategies for overcoming it.

What Is Resistance in Therapy?

Resistance refers to the behaviours and attitudes that clients exhibit when they feel threatened by the therapeutic process. It can take many forms, from subtle avoidance to overt defiance, and often arises from fear of change or discomfort with self-exploration.

The Nature of Resistance

Resistance is not merely obstinacy; it is a complex psychological response that serves to protect the individual from confronting painful truths. Clients may resist engaging with certain topics, expressing emotions, or implementing changes suggested by their therapist. Understanding this concept is essential for therapists to navigate the therapeutic relationship effectively.

Types of Resistance

Resistance can manifest in various ways, each reflecting different underlying issues. Recognising these types can help therapists tailor their approaches to better support their clients.

  • Realistic Resistance

This occurs when clients consciously oppose therapeutic initiatives they do not understand or accept. For example, a client might disagree with a therapist's approach or terminology.

  • Collusive Resistance

This type arises when therapists avoid addressing painful topics due to their own emotional reactions or biases. It highlights the importance of therapist self-awareness in managing resistance.

  • Process Resistance

Clients may resist the necessary changes required to achieve their desired outcomes. For instance, someone wanting to improve their relationships may struggle to engage in difficult conversations.

  • Outcome Resistance

This occurs when clients are ambivalent about change, often because their current situation, even if unhealthy, feels familiar and safe. For example, a person struggling with addiction might resist treatment because it threatens their identity as "the life of the party."

The Psychology Behind Resistance

Understanding why resistance occurs is vital for effective therapy. Several psychological factors contribute to this phenomenon.

Fear of Change

Change can be daunting, especially when it involves letting go of long-standing habits or coping mechanisms. Many clients prefer the familiar, even if it is unhealthy, because it feels safer than venturing into the unknown.

Shame and Vulnerability

Feelings of shame often underlie resistance. Clients may fear judgment or rejection if they reveal their true selves or confront painful memories. This fear can lead to avoidance behaviours that hinder progress in therapy.

Lack of Trust

A lack of trust in the therapeutic process or the therapist can also fuel resistance. If clients doubt the efficacy of therapy or feel misunderstood, they may withdraw or become defensive.

Strategies for Overcoming Resistance

Addressing resistance requires a thoughtful and empathetic approach from therapists. Here are some effective strategies:

Acknowledge and Validate Experiences

Recognising and validating a client's feelings about resistance can foster a positive rapport and enhance trust. By acknowledging that resistance is a natural part of the therapeutic process, therapists can create a safe space for exploration.

Explore Underlying Fears

Encouraging clients to articulate their fears regarding change can illuminate the roots of their resistance. Open discussions about what they are afraid of losing or facing can help demystify these feelings.

Adapt Therapeutic Approaches

Therapists should be flexible in their methods and willing to adjust techniques based on client feedback. This adaptability demonstrates respect for the client's autonomy and helps reduce resistance.

Use Motivational Interviewing Techniques

Motivational interviewing focuses on exploring ambivalence and enhancing intrinsic motivation for change. By guiding clients to articulate their reasons for change, therapists can empower them to take ownership of their therapeutic journey.

Foster an Open Dialogue

Encouraging open communication about resistance itself can be beneficial. Clients should feel comfortable discussing their hesitations and concerns regarding therapy without fear of judgment.

The Role of the Therapeutic Relationship

The therapeutic relationship plays a crucial role in managing resistance. A strong alliance between therapist and client fosters trust and encourages vulnerability.

Building Trust Through Empathy

Empathy is fundamental in establishing a trusting relationship. When clients feel understood and accepted, they are more likely to engage openly with challenging topics.

Addressing Countertransference

Therapists must be aware of their own emotional reactions (countertransference) that may influence the therapeutic dynamic. Recognising these feelings allows therapists to maintain objectivity and focus on the client's needs rather than their own discomfort.

Recognising Progress Despite Resistance

Resistance does not always indicate failure; it can signify progress in therapy. When clients confront their resistance, they often gain valuable insights into themselves and their behaviours.

Identifying Small Wins

Therapists should celebrate small victories along the way, such as moments when clients express willingness to engage with difficult topics or acknowledge their fears about change.

Encouraging Self-Reflection

Promoting self-reflection helps clients recognise patterns in their behaviour related to resistance. This awareness can facilitate deeper understanding and motivate them to overcome obstacles.

Conclusion: Embracing Change Through Understanding Resistance

Understanding resistance is essential for both therapists and clients in navigating the complexities of therapy. By recognising its forms, underlying causes, and employing effective strategies, therapists at Mayfair Therapy can help clients embrace change rather than shy away from it.

If you are experiencing resistance in your personal growth journey or seeking support through psychodynamic therapy, we invite you to book a consultation with our experienced therapists at Mayfair Therapy. Together, we can explore your unique challenges and work towards meaningful change.

If you're ready to take the first step towards profound personal growth, we invite you to book a consultation at Mayfair Therapy. Our experienced therapists are here to guide you on your journey to better mental health. Book a consultation today!


MATTHEW STORIE-PUGH

Matthew Storie-Pugh is a psychodynamic therapist and the founder of Mayfair Therapy. He specialises in deep, insight-driven work with high-achieving professionals. With a focus on long-term therapeutic impact, he writes on psychological resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness. Book your free initial consultation with Matthew now.

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